Fake Wedding Rings And Fictitious Children
Friend, is it just me or is every other woman getting catcalled in Dar es Salaam? I used to think that maybe my eccentric ways of dressing are what attract so much attention but lately (after endless social experiments of wearing just about everything) I’ve realized that it really doesn’t matter what I wear. I’m honestly starting to believe that all Dar men ever think about is sex and there’s nothing me and you can do! Lol! 😂But seriously, I mean how else do you explain the endless catcalling?
Anyway, in my attempts to mitigate these harassments, I started putting one of my rings on my ring fingers. Believe it or not, it has been a game-changer. I can finally walk a block without random men yelling for my attention. You should seriously see me be obnoxiously loud about my fake husband… I be out there scratching a non-existent itch on my face just so the men round the corner can see my fake wedding ring. 😂It’s exhausting but super effective. Instead of “Rastaaaaa” these days I get “Shemeji” -that’s an in-law in Swahili. Honestly, it’s still sad that I have to have an imaginary or invisible man’s presence for me to be walking peacefully around town but hey, if it means one less guy imagining himself having sex with me, I’ll take it!
Since I’m pretending to be married, when I go to the markets, I add imaginary children to get better deals on my groceries, lol! 😂#hustling. On the fly, I invent a sob story to tell the guy handing me my green beans to entice him to add a couple more. I mean, if I’m playing the married woman, I might as well go all the way, right😂? And because I’m an aunt, the personas of my fictitious children aren’t hard to come up with… I imagine my nieces and adjust their gender, name and characters to whatever would most appeal to the seller I'm negotiating with.
Anyway, that’s it from me!
Oh, wait! Here is something to read and something I’ve made for you to see...
As always, love and light from yours truly,
Bernie
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